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It Depends Upon Who We Share the Walk With

21/10/2013 15:51

Do you have some people in your life that absolutely love you for exactly who you are?  They are treasured Dear Hearts who would not think a thing of a chaotic home if they visited, us answering our front door in mismatched clothing, or  have our hair essentially housing a squirrel?  It may be a wee group of family or friends that either overtly or clandestinely checks in on you to make sure that you are feeling well on all levels.  These folks have seen us on our “good” days & our “moody” days & our “stormy” days, in sorrow & in celebration.  They embrace us entirely.  If you & I have these people in our lives then we are I believe the wealthiest people on earth.  Being loved for exactly who we are is after all what truly matters to my way of thinking.

There is a huge difference between “putting on the dog” so to speak for others & being genuine & exactly ourselves.  Putting “it” on (masks) don’t you find is exhausting & unnatural?  Still, we may feel that we would not be accepted if it were not for the masks that we make use of in some situations.  What if I told you that my experience as an adult with type 1 has rocketed me into embracing a life without a mask everywhere I go?  Okay, there is one day of the year that I do embrace a mask & guess what, it is Halloween. 

Life with type 1 diabetes has given me a filter.  The filter removes the need to participate in nonsensical behaviours.  It is incredibly freeing to choose to not concern myself with what others think of what I am wearing or if I have salon orderly hair or are joining any popular events or hanging out with the “in” crowd.  Remember the quote, “be yourself & the right people will come to you?”  That is one of many mottos that I embrace daily.  Basically, my philosophy on relationships is that my natural job is to be the type of friend that I would want to have by being genuine & real.  I love meeting new people & making new friends however I am not one iota interested in having a collection of people that are acting one way & are someone else in other situations.   As our youngest son says often, “that’s the way God made me.”  You too may be a naturally enthusiastic person.  If that is the real us & we just let that flow through & out of us then koodos for us!  If someone else is naturally different & they are their genuine, original selves with no masks, then koodos for them too!  My thought is just to be our natural selves. 

Over the past 2 years, I have had the blessing of having a new teacher being placed upon my path.  This teacher has not only stretched my thinking & propelled me into taking action in ways that I had not even considered; he has also taken my already hopeful attitude to a new height.  It happened so gradually frankly that I did not notice it at first.  To say that I am a huge advocate of cognitive behavior therapy would be an understatement.  The power that we each have over our thoughts is limitless I believe.  When we take something like this & then add something even more powerful, the impact that this has on our lives is indescribable.

 You may share my love of baking.  My attitude is that if I make goodies from scratch then I can stir in the love.  I love to bake for my family & friends as well as for folks whose faces I may never see or meet.  Let’s consider taking the power of choosing the best thoughts for ourselves & adding in another ingredient like a recipe.  Do you have a favourite recipe?  It may be one that has been handed down to you from family.  Or it may be another one.  Do you modify any recipes?  How did it work out?  Let’s focus on recipes that we love that we added something to & this addition made the dish phenomenal.  Life is like that too.  This teacher taught me this.  I found that with the power already well in use by me of knowing that I have choice over which of my thoughts were serving me well & which ones to discard & then adding in the ingredient of the teacher’s aha ingredient, the quality of each day became more & more phenomenal.  What is the ingredient?  The teacher describes how to have a healthy ego.  He teaches that an unhealthy ego is one that is caved in on oneself.  He teaches us that it is easy to diagnose an unhealthy ego if we think of an ego as either being addicted or unattached.  Addictions, he teaches are: profound attachment to power, honour, wealth and or recreation.  These four things in themselves we are taught are fine if we are not living our lives for & about these things basically.  An example of being addicted to honour would surface if we cannot seem to handle it if we are not thanked every time we do a good deed for another person.  We then ask ourselves if we did the deed for the sake of doing the right thing or in order to obtain a “fix” of getting thanked & being honoured for the deed.  Please do not get me wrong, I am a huge advocate of all of us using our manners.  The distinction in this example though is to ask oneself if there is an addiction to “good feelings.”  It is the courage within us that asks the question as to the motives of our deeds.  We will know if we have an addiction or an unhealthy ego we are taught by seeing whether we are living our life around power, wealth, recreation or honour.  Answering the question I found to be a life changer. 

If we are not addicted to honour (good feelings) or constantly asking ourselves what someone is thinking about us continuously, then we are free indeed don’t you think?  For beginners, it opens up the opportunity for us to be better listeners with others because we are not doing a constant appraisal on ourselves during conversations.  We get to choose to be present with the other person.  We get to be beautiful originals…we get to be our natural selves.  This is a great thing & a rare treasure.

If you & I have some Dear Hearts in our lives who are naturally themselves with healthy egos that love us for the real people that we are, then let’s all of us hang on tightly to these people!  Are they rare?  We each answer that question for ourselves.  These people are out there though.  Thankfully, I have many of these exact original Dear Hearts in my life.  Do you know when these every day heroes came into my life in larger numbers?  It was when I opened the door.  It was when I dared to be myself first.  And yes, diabetes magnified this experience because most of all type 1 has taught me vividly what matters most.

This morning I woke up with a blood sugar of 15.3 & immediately I began the process of attempting to correct this.  I took what I believed to be a modest correction.  Within 2 hours I felt the telltale signs of hypoglycemia like shaking, a numb tongue & dizziness.  Sure enough when I tested my blood sugar was 2.9!  Our sons were not home at the time however my husband was home.  I turned to him & said some choice words about type 1 diabetes.  Then we both laughed.  I was thankful that I did not have to mask my low blood sugar or my feelings about my frustration.  Okay, Saundie, how about when we behave naturally & the outcome is not quite as positive?  Let me share with you that I had a stinker of a hypoglycemia last week of 2.4 & I stayed the course with being an original anyhow.  I was in a situation where there were no shared laughs over my frustration with diabetes or stuff of that nature that time.  My attitude is that in times like those, we get to make a choice to really appreciate the times when we are with a Dear Heart that is supportive & we are loved for our original selves.  We get to look at it this way:  life really is magnificent when we are sharing a “walk” with someone who loves us no matter what.  We need to share more “walks” with these exact people! 

My heart’s hope for you is that you embrace others with original you & that the Dear Hearts in your life embrace beautiful you right back!

Smiles, Saundie  :)

Enjoy all the walks this week over the crispy autumn leaves with a Dear Heart & next week's sharing is "Fits Like a Glove!"  :)