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Hugs or Equations/Hugs & Equations

25/11/2012 12:16

Thank goodness a million times over for those unsung heroes in our lives that love us on the great days & on the days that are not so good.  It is a blessing that I do not take for granted having a supportive & loving team that are my “365” day unsung heroes.  They see me when I am well or having “one of those days” that we all have from time to time. 

You know how they always say you need to have a buddy system in place when you go swimming.  That is for safety for sure & makes excellent sense.  It is my absolute belief that folks with “365” health challenges also need that buddy system.  For some folks, it may be for safety reasons.  Sometimes, a chronic illness faced alone can be extremely overwhelming.  Having a “battle buddy” who cares about what is happening is an incredible blessing.  For some folks, the buddy may take on the role of helping with learning about medications or even dispensing the medications or going to the store to obtain needed supplies.  The buddy could be an advocate.  They could be a gentle giant who goes with you to your doctor’s appointments or specialist appointments.  Maybe it is someone who makes you a cup of tea & snuggles you after a rough day.  Some battle buddies are there to tell you a wee joke & get your spirits back up.  Others inspire us by the way they live their lives with meaning & kind gentleness.  The common denominator if you will pardon the pun is the 365 days a year that the main battle buddy loves us unconditionally. 

Thankfully, I have drafted a good number of battle buddies over the past 5 years.  There are a couple of reasons why I made a decision to have a team of battle buddies instead of just one battle buddy.  Those that care for us need a break.  It is my feeling that those that love those of us with either diabetes or any other “365” chronic illness absolutely need & deserve to recharge his or her battery often.  It is a lot like being a parent.  If we go & go & go running for our children & don’t stop to recharge from time to time, patience can dwindle & the energy we bring to the activities just plain decreases.  We would not let our cars run out of gas so why would we let either ourselves or our main battle buddy run out of gas/steam either. 

My main battle buddy is my Dear Heart husband.  He is a quiet, caring “thinker.”  If our main battle buddy is our life partner, then it is good to realize that that person may feel helpless on the days when you are not feeling at your best.  It has occurred to me that those are also the days that understanding on my part go a long way in re-energizing my battle buddy for the day.  That comes in the form of a simple thank-you for caring or understanding or showing such love. 

Along the journey over the past 5 years, I have also learned that sometimes main battle buddies don’t know what we need since needs do change.  It is not fair for me to expect my buddy to guess from one day to the next.  I refer very endearingly to my husband as “the mathlete” since he is very “math savvy.” Thinking through math comes naturally to my main battle buddy.  When I was first diagnosed, my husband was constantly downloading my glucose meter & making impressive charts & giving me impressive advice based on the numbers.  At that early stage, I looked him in the eye with a smile & said, “I know you care but I am not ready to analyze data & look at this illness through math but I sure would love a hug.”  It was not long before I truly appreciated the “mathlete” contributions too & started indeed analyzing the numbers & making different decisions accordingly. 

Sometimes in life, you need an equation & other times a hug.  Letting our battle buddies know which type of day it is helps so much.  And sometimes giving our main battle buddy time off can be as simple as grabbing the leash & taking our furry friend for a walk.  Our pets make great additions to our team of battle buddies too…they are not going to do the math (ha! ha!) yet they sure make a difference too.

My hope is that each one of us blessed enough to have a main battle buddy gives him or her time off too to re-charge & that we show our care & appreciation right back to them…in the form of a hug.

Smiles, Saundie J