Comfortable, Gentle Softness

I would love to share something that has stayed with me.  I heard the words a number of times this past month.  The precious words came from our youngest son, Alex.  He has asked a number of times lately if I realize that when I read either on-line notes, hand-written notes from others or am talking to a Dear Heart on the phone that I smile.  He asked me why I do that.  I did not realize that I do that.  He told me that when I am keyboarding that he often sees me smiling & wondered why I was smiling.  As cold as technology can be, it can also be a gentle space of warmth too if we create it that way & enjoy it in that fashion. 

Did it take you long to join social media?  I found that I had a perception for many years in my mind of what Facebook would be like & based upon those thoughts, I had decided not to join in that or any other social media for a considerable time.  Finally, a couple of years ago, I challenged my thoughts.  It was not a great feeling to realize that I was basing my decision on something other than facts.  My decision was being based upon emotions without any basis.  Then I decided to do the social media toe dip & create a Facebook account.  Long story short, I wish I had done that sooner.  The feeling of being connected is lovely.  The inspirational words & pictures each day are a treat.  Hearing about how Battle Buddies are doing & smiling & thinking, Yes Dear Heart, “me too” has felt like a warm blanket of connectivity.  There are so many groups to join & we get to have a feeling of “me too” in such a profound & comforting way.  Our oldest son has helped me to top dip into texting too.  The texting has been a comfort in a different way.  With Matthew growing older that means that he is out with his friends more & more.  It is a peaceful feeling as a Mom to be able to check in with him when he goes out.  He knows that I like the emoticons & he will often send me a photo from his cell of a silly furry creature & that makes me laugh & he includes that he has not been captured by wolves or anything & is okay.  As an aside Matt & I  have a wee bit of an inside joke.  The next town over from ours has a plaza that recently received a gift of several sculptures outside of one of the coffee shops.  Our sons & I always laugh when we drive by that area.  The sculptures are of goats & one of the goats is on top of a very high pole.  It is unusual & it makes us laugh.  We often will joke that the goat must be on top of the pole so that the local wolves do not get him.  That evolved into the check in texts to our oldest son of “are you okay Honeybunches or are you with the goats?”

There are so many gentle & priceless treasures that we can give to ourselves.  Do you like to come in from outside on a cold day to either your home or a home of a loved one to a warm fireplace, and a nice cup of either tea, hot chocolate or cider?  How about that feeling of giving ourselves the treat of quietly reading a favourite book or listening to gentle music?  Then there is “pet therapy” where we snuggle in with our furry friends to pat fur & feel the peace of our furry family members.  As a bit of a humorous aside, our goldie has a funny habit that she finds comfort in.  We have decided that it is a strategy that she has.  Like so many pets, our Bedford (golden retriever) loves to sleep whenever possible on the family room loveseat.  She has one of the cushions contoured for her large body.  When she gets up on the cushion, she prepares for her sleep by first licking a huge area on the couch.  We had never seen a pet do this before.  It dawned on us that she may be doing this so that she will have the whole couch to herself for a long time since no one wants to sit on a dog saliva covered cushion!  She is quick about it too.  Needless to say that our couch gets cleaned extremely frequently as a result.  And when guests come over, we encourage Dear Hearts to sit on the chairs vs the couch.

You may find that the month of December could be described as anything other than gentle.  Each year I have tried to mold the month into a gentle one.  Admittedly, I have fallen short each year in that regard.  Still, I will continue to make the effort to turn the sails on that one.  This year I find myself being closer to being present in the moment even with the endless to do lists.  Each day is an opportunity to ground myself in perspective.  Some things simply will not get done this year.  The sky will not fall as a result of that.   The key though is to choose to do the things on the list that matter most of all.  Will certain things make a difference in the lives of Dear Ones?  Will certain things make folks smile & feel loved?  Yes, some things will & other things will not make a hill of beans difference.  If we are going to wring out every bit of our energy then why not concentrate on the things that matter most since we have a defined amount of time after all.  No pun but one of the things that I have already chopped from my list is some of the Christmas baking.  It was difficult to axe some of this activity from the list since I love to bake.  I had to ask myself though if it was worth taking all the time to do the amount of baking at the expense of being unavailable to invite friends & family over & be present with them or make phone calls with a smile on my face.  The boys & I will do just one baking fun project together.  It is more for the laugh that it will bring for them.  We will make a few dozen gingerbread ninja cookies & decorate those together.  Our sons do love to decorate cookies.  That will bring joy to their hearts so that part of the baking will remain on our list.  Countless trips to the mall is not going to be an option this year.     And for sure I will be in the card section yet again crying heartfelt tears as I find the just right cards for Dear Hearts.  I always know when I have found the right card for someone dear because tears make an appearance.  The lady at the card shop is so used to me by now.  Oh well, dare to feel everything, right!

This past week, like yourself, I have been trying to squeeze in more activities than ever before.  It was wonderful to get together with a group of gals for a Christmas lunch whether we felt we had the time or not & have some laughs, a delicious lunch & tea.  A Grinch did show up in the form of extremely high blood sugars following the lunch.  If you have type 1 too, you will share the frustration of trying to estimate the number of carbs in Christmas foods without much of a guidepost.  The lunch was so much fun & it was delicious.  The darned Grinchy blood sugar numbers for 4 hours after the lunch were brutal.  I had majorly underestimated how many carbs were in the lunch dishes & how fast or slow acting the carbs would be.  I had to do a lot of corrections.  Thankfully I have my pump however the evening was a write off since I was sitting at a blood sugar of 20 & was profoundly sick for about 4-6 hours.  Still though, the grinchy type 1 cannot be allowed to prevent us from being with our loved ones.  Even with the evening blood sugars, it was still worth it to be out with Dear Hearts.  Next year, when I get together with this group of gals, we plan to go to the same restaurant & I will call ahead & ask about the ingredients so that I have a better chance at coming in closer with insulin calculations.  It will be a mathematical Christmas lunch ha! Ha!  Seriously though it is difficult to ask at a restaurant about what is in the dish.  Most of the time even when we do ask, the server through no fault of their own has no idea at all.  We need to open up a type 1 restaurant with the carb content right on the menu…how cool would that be?  It is my heart’s thought that even in the face of difficulty that we can choose to wrap ourselves in comfort.  Last night I put on my comfiest jammies, made my favourite tea blend, got a soft blankie & snuggled in on a spot on the couch that had not been christened by our furry girl.  Although it took time & effort, my blood sugars came back into range again & while this was in the process, I felt the comfort of having a home filled with countless simple comforts. 

This morning as I was reading (and smiling) while reading posts from Dear Hearts on Facebook, there were some encouraging words there.  We can choose to have technology work in a way that can be comforting. Dear Hearts made & make an incredible difference on challenging days.  Each one of us has our own set of struggles.  My experience has been that I am blessed with a circle of Dear Hearts that live love out loud by sharing their beautiful hearts with kindness & understanding.  What a beautiful difference.  These Dear Hearts have me absolutely beaming this morning.  I stand very much corrected on my perception of what social media would be like.  It is whatever you make of it.  I feel the warmth & love from Dear Hearts.  We cannot practically always be physically with one another yet we can be connected by hearts by kindnesses shared via technology.  The most gentle, soft & comfortable things that I can ever imagine being wrapped in is the care & love of Dear Hearts through heart connections.

My heart’s hope for you is that the love & kindness that you share comes full circle with an exclamation mark right back to you & snuggles you in soft, gentle comfort always.

Smiles, Saundie :)

Have a smile filled week & may peace be with you.  Next Monday's sharing is "Ho Ho Hold On."  :)